The morning fog is here and lingering. It is a welcome friend though; it keeps the sun from overheating our little rented house. It seems the fog from last night and the last week are also lingering…this type of fog is not quite as invited. While I usually enjoy the head fog on Saturday mornings, today I had planned to write another section to my life. But, for me the creativity of writing only comes when the mood strikes. The focus has to be just right, the sentiment stable and the heart open. If it’s not, the writing is fractured and unfeeling.
Maybe it is because I am girl that these emotions have to be just right. Or maybe it is because I grew up in a vail of secrets dashed with shame that it is difficult for me to just be open. Or maybe it is due to the fact that when it comes to creativity I have no grounding. I find it difficult to find my footing and when I do it is difficult to keep it on the ground for very long. A psychic once told me that this was due to me lacking earth in my chart. When he told me this, it resonated as being true. This could be the reason I feel so at peace when I am working in the garden or just being out in nature; it completes me. Some of my teachers would argue, however, that my lack of direction comes from just being lazy.
And so, I embrace today for all of me – that I am a girl who is an, at time, overly sentient being; who has a strong masculine side to her; that loves to nurture creativity both in myself and others; and who deserves a day to just relax.