It is hot! I do apologize for the lapse in writing, but I have been sick and have not felt like blogging (while my guitar gently weaps). So, I do promise to get back on track and return to my story but until then allow me a wee bit of freedom of ranting 😉 I had a conversation with dear friend today about the challenge of having people in your life who have such different views than your own. The Proposition 8 was a difficult conversation to have with people you love but would probably not be “friends” with absent a history together because you differ so greatly on right and wrong. Which begs the question: when is it okay to break up with a friend? Should you break up with a friend? Does a friend hold such a special place the bond should never be toyed with? But, we do end friendships throughout our lives…do we not?
In all seriousness, we break up with lovers throughout our lives until, if we are so fortunate, we find the one person we want to spend our life with. Why is a friendship any different? We grow. We change. We grow apart. Our views on right and wrong change with our individual experiences. Is it important to keep in touch because you share a period of time in your life together? Or, it is more healthy to let go of the relationship on better happier terms so that when you see each other in the street it is not uncomfortable or hostile. I don’t honestly know the correct answer but I have had friend breakups and they are more painful than any romantic relationship I have been in. The relationship tends to be more intimate (at least when you are younger) and thus more painful to part. But, the friends breakups I have had have been some of the biggest time of growth in my life. I believe in evaluating all of your relationships at least every 5 years to see whether they are still healthy for you and the other person.
At some point I will get to a point in my story where I moved to Mexico after living in Northern California for 20 plus years. It was one of the best and most courageous decisions I have made in my life. I left all that was familiar and many friendships….actually I left all of my friendships. None of my friends came to visit me while I was gone and none of them made an effort to keep in touch. They may have a different perspective but this is mine and how I recall it. It was not a bad thing and I hold no resentment over it. It ended up pushing me to find who I was and who I was not. But, it took a lot of friend breakups to get there. I would not change anything about these breakups because I am healthier for them and thus happier. So, when is it okay to break up with a friend?