To a 10 year old, I am old. To an 18 year old, I am old. Even to a 21 year old, I am old. But to someone who is 27, I am not that old. Want to know why? Because, they are getting closer to my age! Oh the cruelty of it for them. What they don’t know is what a relief getting older can be. And, what I have discovered as I get older (currently I am 34 years young) is that I care more for some things and much less for other things. For example, while I do care about my appearance when I go out in public I no longer care if someone snaps a photo of me that is not to my self criticizing standards (I ended up in a newspaper recently quite on accident with a very odd expression on my face – no my best photo but not my worst either). Who cares? It’s still me, yes? I try to look my best at all times, but quite frankly sometimes I just don’t wanna. At 34, I care less about what I think people are thinking about me and more about what I think of myself. I know I look good because I like who I see smiling back at me in the mirror. The point is this: I am more concerned with how my innards are feeling versus viewing myself through other people’s eyes. My “persona” is focused more often inward than outward.
Here are some other things I think are pretty awesome about getting older:
– Sundays. A day of reflection and no longer a day of recovering from the previous 2 nights. It is so nice to wake up with a clear head instead of a fog of stale alcohol.
– Underwear that cover your whole butt. Screw g-strings. They give your ass a rash and are entirely too uncomfortable. When I am worried about panty lines, I opt out of them completely.
– My parents are people too. No longer do I hold them responsible for what I did not have the voice to ask for nor do I fault them for making some mistakes along the way. All 3 of my parents are lovely wonderful people who tried really hard to make sure I knew I was loved. I see their beauty I could not see in the cloud of self depreciating 20’s.
– Friends. Quality v. Quantity baby. When you’re younger and less wise, it’s about how many people you know versus how well you know the people you know. What a hard lesson this is! I have about 3 – 5 people I can turn to at anytime versus 50 who will dart at the first notion of discomfort. Now, this is not to say that knowing a variety of people and keeping in touch with people you have met along the way is not important. It is. They remind you of your journey. I just don’t feel the need to make sure I connect with them everyday. Isn’t that what facebook is for anyways?
– People older than me. They are like my tour guides warning me about bumps in the road and things not to miss. While it can be uncomfortable to listen to someone who is in their 90’s talk about their hot sex life, you can still learn a thing or two.
– Libraries. They have real books! And they are free! I am old school when it comes to books which feels awkward to say anyways. I have tried digital which is great for traveling ….but it really gives you no point of reference. I love the feel of it. I love looking at the book. I love the smell of the book. Reading it is the cherry on top.
– Family. Oh how I love my family! The opinions. The advice. The laughter. The quirks! We are a loving group of people who have been through a roller coaster of challenges, but man when you need someone to ground you there is not a better group to turn to.
I am wishing to all of you a wonderful Sunday with no panty problems, spent with a wonderful friend/lover, cuddled up with a book from the library, a phone call from your favorite aunt/uncle/cousin who tells you a funny story about your parents and a great conversation with someone much older than you.